At Sea with James Mastroianni!

James is the youngest member of our ensemble. His youth has betrayed us yet again! Inside bits aside, you’d never guess that James is relatively new to improv (compared to us old folks, that is). He’s a delight to play with, both onstage and off…that’s right ladies - this guy is single and ready to mingle! He’ll always remind you he’s from Pittsburgh, but is happily transplanted in L.A. where he works as a server at the famous Improv comedy club.

James and I met for a lovely dinner at the Windows dining room. I brought along a mini notebook and pen, so the following is transcribed from my notes and my memory. I’m new at this interview business.

Natalie: What made you fall in love with improv?
James: I think the challenge of it. I moved to LA to be an actor, but they offered half off classes at Second City, so I took them. One night I saw an improv show with Dave Rozowski, Scott Adset, Craig Cackowski, Kay Cannon and Mark Evan Jackson, and I thought there is no way they made that up. I wanted to be able to do that.
N: Describe LA in 3 words.
J: Overpopulated, competitive, narcissistic.
N: And now the ship in 3 words.
J: Commercial, diverse, loud.
N: What’s been your favorite experience so far on the ships?
J: The inside jokes.
N: Of course. And to avoid full disclosure, what’s a one-word hint at your favorite inside joke?
J: Brr-brr. Or tiramisu.
N: For these next two questions, please be totally honest. Who is your favorite cast member?
J: Well, right now I’d have to say Natalie, for letting me talk about myself and for buying me a glass of wine.
N: Good answer. And who is your least favorite?
J: I’d have to say Katy, for putting me in the position to make a mastectomy joke in front of her sister [when she visited the ship]. But I guess they still liked me.
N: Classy. So James, what is something that, in the 5 weeks we’ve known each other, the cast still hasn’t learned about you?
J: That’s tough, you guys know a lot. [long pause] I lived in a trailer park for a year.
N: Wow. Who are you?
J: Yep. I was born in North Carolina and lived in Moorehead City.
N: Did you just live there as a baby?
J: No, I was probably around 5 when we lived there.
N: Has that affected you in any way?
J: It affects the way I look at poor people. Like they’re animals, you know. I’m kidding, you’re not writing that, are you?
N: No.
J: I learned that it’s easy to judge people until you’re in that place.
N: This is a good segue to my next question. If you had a million dollars right this second, what would you do with it?
J: I’d give 10% to my parents, invest $500,000...
N: This is pretty specific.
J: Throw a huge party in Las Vegas, $5000 would go to the first homeless person I’d see…
N: I hope he wouldn’t make bad choices with it.
J: Hey, he’d be living. I‘ve always wanted to do that, can you imagine the look on his face? And I’d go on big vacation with my family.
N: Nice. I know that you love Bill Murray. What’s your favorite movie of his?
J: My favorite movie and favorite character are different. Favorite Bill Murray movie is Lost in Translation. But my favorite character he’s ever played is Ernie McCracken from Kingpin. He’s definitely my biggest comedic influence.
N: So I know Bill Murray’s your favorite comedian. But since I’m a lady, I have to ask, who is your favorite female comedian?
J: Hm…there are a lot that I like. I love Amy Poehler, Catherine O’Hara, Tina Fey, Lucille Ball. It’s hard to think of leading women. Probably Catherine O’Hara.
N: And the obligatory question, what’s your favorite scene in our show?
J: My favorite to be in is Dummy, because it’s silent and I get to be playful. My favorite to watch…I like Bagpipes and Morning Person. There are a lot of blackouts in our show.
N: For the short attention spans. And speaking of, I have to ask, short form or long form?
J: Playing long form is more satisfying to me, but I understand why people love short form. It’s fast, the audience loves it. But what I love about long form is the call backs and the way it can all be brought together at the end. Of course 70% of long form sucks.
N: That’s true. Ok, we’re coming to the end of our interview, so here’s the lightening round. Wine, red or white?
J: Red.
N: Black or brown?
J: Black or brown what?
N: Just basic color scheme.
J: Brown.
N: Chocolate or vanilla?
J: Chocolate.
N: East coast or West coast?
J: Oh that’s hard. I have to say East. But I love the West coast. I guess anything but the Midwest. Except Chicago. I love Chicago.
N: Nice save. Would you ever move to Chicago?
J: Like if I got Tour Co? Yes.
N: And finally…what’s the #1 thing, minding the brown bag foul (sorry, that’s a ComedySportz bit...it means don’t say sex), that you will want to do when you get off the ship?
J: I’ll say, to stick with the themes in my life, throw a big party. I threw a big one when I left, I’ll throw a big one when I get back. James isn’t against the fun.

Thank you James!!