Yacht Rock

Full Circle

2008-02-26T14:17:00.000-08:00

My week back at home...

The beautiful new ComedySportz Theatre. I can't wait to play here!

The beautiful new Jason Knauf. He's much less creepy than he looks. Ok. Slightly less.

John, Durbin and Erin are in love...with the new smoke-free Holiday Club!
Speaking of love...Josh and Brooke are in it!
Tracy, be cuter. I dare you. And congratulations, you two.

So I'm a little late, but as of last night, I have been back in town for one week. And thus ends my boating and blogging journey. I will likely begin a new, non-sea blog. But that's for another day. Let's get to the post-game...

What I learned from my sea-faring journey...

-There is such a thing as a 6-way marriage. I was honored to become Mrs. MastriFluMarHandWells, if only for 19 weeks.

-There is absolutely nothing Hispanic about Aruba.

-There are no days of the week. There are Embark Day, First Sea Day, Honduras Day, Guatemala Day, Belize Day, Cozumel Day, and Last Sea Day.

-Getting dressed is highly overrated and should be reserved for shows and restaurants. Specialty restaurants.

-It's never too early for bits.

-The ports are more beautiful the further you get from the ship.

-The crew bar is magical if you're not allowed to go.

-The crew bar is smokey if you are allowed to go.

-The only celebrities in existance are Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and George W Bush.

-People weren't designed to live on ships. If we were, we'd have been born without livers.

There is more. That's really just a random sampling. When people ask me, "How was the boat?" all I can really say is fun...crazy...unhealthy...quick...fascinating...and overall, floating high school. It was definitely something I'm glad I did and will always love being able to say, "This one time..."

Thank you, NCL, Second City, Shawn, Tab, James, Peter, and Katy.

My family.

Welcome Home

2008-02-20T08:25:00.000-08:00

So now that I've bid farewell, it's time for some hellos...

Hello, Halsted bus!

Oooh...hello International Stinger hotties!

It's like Gillian is a weird statue and Josh and Stephen are trying to steal her. Is it just me?

I'm so confused to be back on the Playground stage.

And who the F is Rando??

Hey Rich Baker and Tim Ryder! At least one of these guys will remember this picture being taken.

T-Rydes and T-No rock out guitar hero. Tim will never look cooler than this.

Thanks for an awesome welcome home, Playground and C-Spo friends! You make Chicago feel a little warmer. (yeah, I know, guh-ross)

Spirit Farewell

2008-02-20T08:00:00.001-08:00

So I'm finally back in Chicago. But I'm getting ahead of myself....

We sat front row for our final viewing of On Broadway. The only thing better than having such an amazing SC cast was having such an awesome Production cast. These guys were amazing.

Backstage for our final sketch show. Full of beans and full of bits. It was a good time.
Last day in Guatemala. We went on an amazing river tour to hot springs and caves.

Our final Beer Fest. Awww. I think I miss this the most. Or maybe Peter does.

Heeeeeey, hey baby (hoo! ha!) I wanna knoooow...will you be my girl...

Coconut water courtesy of Mr. Sancho's in Cozumel.

Peter, that is WAY too many glasses. Are you really going to drink all that? (Last breakfast in New Orleans at a delightful place called Petunia's...giantest omelets ever)

Flight cancelled...driving to Chicago...I couldn't be more delighted.

Sweet home Chicago.

Thank you, NCL Spirit. You were indeed my "home away from home" and I will miss you.

And we're back

2008-02-19T07:38:00.001-08:00

Zoinkers...I'm back in Chicago. So while my boat friends are playing pool volleyball in the Caribbean Sea today, I'll be waiting for the Halsted bus in 8 degree weather. No hyperbole...8. At least I'll be waiting for the bus to go to an AUDITION. Yeah. I got a phone call from my agent literally moments after getting back into town. Nice.

So I'll be throwing some pictures on later today after the audish and after I see Meredith!!! Equally as exciting as a commercial audition. No, Meredith, for reals.

Home is nice, but I'm still getting used to it. Crazytown.

Thanks, Chicago Winter

2008-02-17T11:32:00.000-08:00

I'm in New Orleans trying to figure out how to get home. Flight cancelled. Weeeee!

Details to come...just know I'll be late coming home, friends. Boo:(

Last...

2008-02-11T11:38:00.001-08:00

Alright, so I’ve been absent from my blog lately, much to the disappointment of my faithful readers (you know who the six of you are). But I have good excuses, as well as good stories.

January 27 – New Orleans day, 3 weeks to go

We met James’ friends Tommy and Holly at Barely Legal, one of the classy Hustler strip clubs on Bourbon Street. We enjoy the dance stylings of the regular Sunday afternoon ladies, who are equally nonplussed and amused to be dancing for a bunch of comedians and a table full of creepy older dudes. Eventually James, Tommy, Holly, Shawn, and Katy head back to the ship, leaving Peter and I to chat with one of the dancers, who we’ve dubbed Rainbow Bright, as she was wearing thigh high rainbow socks and not much else. Full of curiosity and Malibu rum I inquire as to how one learns to do their brand of pole acrobatics…classes? Trial and error? Certainly you can’t learn all the moves on the job, that would be embarrassing! But I am assured by our new friend that most of it is on-the-job training and mentoring by more experienced dancers. I am impressed. These girls defy gravity (shout-out to Jenna) on those poles. Before I know it, R.B. is off to dance and Peter and I begin gathering ourselves to get back to the ship. I am just about to put my jacket on when Ms. Bright grabs my arm and says, “Come play on the pole!” Huh? I look around and sure enough, no one is onstage, the DJ is playing background music and the drunk older dudes at the only other occupied table in the club are absorbed in cigars and convo. Well, why not? Encouraged by Peter’s wild laughter, I follow R.B. up to the nearest pole (there are two onstage). Dressed in my jeans and a long-sleeved black shirt, I follow her instructions – grab the pole and spin. Now what many people may not know about these brass poles is that they aren’t stationary; they spin within their floor and ceiling mountings. So spinning…yeah, it’s pretty fast and I was soon dizzy and in awe of these girls’ senses of balance. I learn from R.B. that one of the most basic things they learn is to climb the pole, which takes a good amount of quad strength and friction. Try it, she suggests. But I protest, “I’m wearing jeans, I’ll slide right down.” “So take them off,” is her simple solution. Now, for a regular girl like me, the idea of taking pants off in a public place is a little crazy. On the other hand, when you’re onstage with a couple of brass poles talking to a mostly naked girl and being soundtracked by the giggles of a castmate, taking your pants off sounds like a totally reasonable thing to do. So off go my pink Sauconys and my jeans, and now in the long-sleeved shirt, cotton undies and socks, I’m giving the pole-climbing a go. It is hard! Those girls are much more athletic than I would’ve ever given them credit for. At this point, another girl working that afternoon sees the mentoring session going on and wants in…Sunday afternoons are slow for these ladies. She runs up and eagerly demonstrates a move or two for me to try from the second pole. I give a couple of good tries, mostly just ending up dizzy, much to Peter’s and my own amusement. After a few minutes I decide my pants have been off long enough for one afternoon and I thank the ladies for their career counseling. R.B. hugs me, pushing my face into her bare chest and exclaims, “You dance on Bourbon Street!” She really earned that fiver that found its way into her g-string on my way out. I should mention that while I was onstage the Smashing Pumpkins’ “1979” was my dance music. Apropos.

February 3 – New Orleans day, two weeks to go

MARDI GRAS!!! I couldn’t have expected this. I really loved Mardis Gras. Now, we only saw it just revving up, as we were there on a Sunday afternoon, but wow was it a party. We watched some parades and walked around until the realization was made…we don’t have drinks in our hands! This is madness. And so we stopped at one of the many fast food style drinks stands and purchased a hurricane, which is basically a grain alcohol slushie. Blech. But I finished my $9 cross between Wyler’s punch and Dimetapp because I was at Mardi Gras! Then it was off to the Old Opera House to enjoy the zydeco music, collect beads and take crazy pictures for the rest of the afternoon. All aboard time 4:30? What? We took full advantage of our passenger status and ran onto the ship at 4:35 to the amusement of the cool officers who are accustomed to us pushing it every week. Thank goodness they like us. Good guys.

February 10 – Last New Orleans day, Last Week, Last Hurrah

Yesterday was our final full day in New Orleans. We celebrated by getting our palms read (I’m supposed to have a good year!), eating beignets and jambalaya, drinking hand grenades (take that, hurricane) and listening to some more live music. I thought New York was tough on my health…oh man, did I not see New Orleans coming. So while my spiritual heart will miss this place, my physical one certainly will not. I loved Jackson Square and St. Louis Cathedral; I loved Mardi Gras; I loved the Chartres House, Café Beignet, and Café Amelie; I loved the delightful people at the Maritime Ministry for giving us such a nice place to bring our computers and send and receive mail; I loved how you can tell someone is from New Orleans by hearing them talk, but it’s not quite the southern accent of the rest of the region; I love that James and I shared a table with an old black couple and a middle-aged gay couple at Windows and they couldn’t have gotten along better, simply because they were all from New Orleans. Each Sunday that I went to mass at St. Louis I got a little misty when the cantor would welcome people who were still displaced because their home parish has “not yet reopened” since Katrina. The city is an amazing place and I hope to return to it someday soon.

So those are my last few weeks in New Orleans. I still owe a lot of pictures and of course updates from the non-US ports, but I’ll get there. This week will be a little crazy for me. My boat family has a few last hurrahs ahead of us.

On the Water Front

2008-02-01T09:48:00.000-08:00

So what do you do when you're laying on a rented bed on a beach in Playa del Carmen, Mexico? Why you go on the internet of course. That's exaclty what's happening today. I am either industrious or lame. I'm choosing the latter and getting out of here. Just wanted to say hi.

Lost y La Playa

2008-01-27T07:46:00.000-08:00

This week was fun. The end.

Jokes! I can prove that thesis statement with some photos. Sadly, I forgot to bring my camera cord to the delightful seafarer center so I could load more pics, but I'll share what I can...

So this week was more Lost, a trip to the Mexican mainland and some crazy times with some New Orleans music. Last week the band onboard destroyed our chances at having a good improv set when their ever so considerate fans drank and talked through our entire set. Needless to say, my attitude toward the bands coming on this week was less than hospitable. Oh how an accordian and a washboard can win my heart.

I feel the slightest sense of remorse for the disdain expressed in my last post. Truth is I don't hate Lost. I just want answers. My impatience takes hold from time to time and I say things I don't mean. Although I still can't explain how the writers from One Tree Hill got in on the tattoo episode. If you've seen it, you know what I mean.

Hey Tab and James, how do you feel about Lost?And you, Peter?Natalie? Come on, be honest.

So I'm not 100% sold on season 3, but it's getting better toward the end and I'm told it's worth my patience. Fine. I'll watch.

What could pull me away from Losting this week? Playa del Carmen, that's what! Ruben in his infinite benevolence allowed me to tag along on a trip to the Mexican mainland on Friday. Cozu-who? Yeah, I might be done with Cozumel for the remainder of my time. I was charmed by the PDC.

Gorgeous. Wtg, Mexico.
Oh boy, speaking of gorgeous...Ruben, Pedro and some tiny shorts. (learn more about Pedro at www.myspace.com/pedromadeira)
Love hurts, Katrina and Joe.
This is what real food looks like. It was preceded by hummus and beet juice. My body hated me later when I had to return to Raffles.
Q: Jenna, who fills your nails?

A: Wal-Mart!

Fun times, fun times. Today I'll be joining James and his boat guests on Bourbon Street for some Barely Legal fun. Yes, mom, you heard me.

Oh New Orleans...only a few more days with you....

Frustration (or Why I Hate Lost)

2008-01-22T13:24:00.000-08:00

Call me a control freak…wait, don’t. That’s like saying, “Wow, you’re mom’s a real b-i-t-c-h.” It’s just not cool, even if it’s true (mom, if you’re reading this, I don’t mean you, I just mean moms in general…it’s a simile). So let me rephrase. I’m kind of a self-professed control freak. For this reason, I feel like I can never truly love a cliff-hanger show like the ABC smash hit Lost. For the past couple of weeks, and likely for the next couple of weeks, our life on this ship is Lost-centered. Days have been filled with dark hours in cabin 10601 curled up with green tea and the survivors of Oceanic flight 815. Season one, I’ll admit, blew me away. I enjoyed the rollercoaster ride of getting to know the characters, mentally penciling people onto the “good guy or bad guy” list, which inevitably became eraser-worn. So now that my mind-paper has become thin and torn, I am left with the daily journey onto Lost island, featuring burning anger at Others mingled with outrage at the indiscernible actions and decisions of the remaining survivors. All of this topped off by the knowing laughter of Peter at my obvious frustration (I’ll get you, Fluet) has put me in the weirdest mood possible, which really wasn’t necessary for my last 4 weeks on this ship. It’s weird enough to be facing the excitement/dread of ending my tour and returning to Chicago. Excitement = seeing Erin and all my friends, cooking my own food, going to my own gym, etc; dread = waiting for an express bus at 7:15am in the tail end of the freezing cold winter. But this is what we do, right? See something on the horizon and rather than logically planning for it, like a responsible adult, we hold onto to the greatest opposing force possible. What? Go back to work? I better sleep until noon every day I can until then…you know, make the transition as difficult as possible.

So where am I going with all this? Well…Lost has really gotten me to thinking about the parallels between their island and this ship, not the least of which was confirmed by James’ Freudian slip last week that followed a scene where something big happened on the island right when Sawyer and Kate were having a moment together.
James: “Oh man, it is impossible for anyone to have a private moment on this ship…I mean island.” (pause for laughter) “Wow.”
So true, James. So true. Katy laughed at me when I suggested the similarity. Ok, so aside from the occasional GI outbreak, our ship is blessedly free of life-threatening situations, polar bears and smoke monsters…to my knowledge. But we do have Code Bravo in the engine room, security adventures in the dancer hallway and more drama than can be dreamt up by JJ Abrams’ psyche. Our close quarters and 24 hour social access to one another forges bonds beyond that of a normal ensemble…and let’s be honest, that’s pretty comparable to the bond forged by having had another human being pull you out of burning fuselage and administer CPR.

We had the inevitable “who do you relate to on Lost” conversation last week, and as per usual, I saw mouths moving but wasn’t really listening to what my castmates were saying. So let me go ahead and answer that question for myself and for you, dear reader…(spoiler alert if you haven’t watched Lost)

Tabetha Wells – Jack Shepherd. Tabetha’s name isn’t quite as heavy handed as Jack’s, unless you’re a huge fan of puns, which I most certainly am. Come on, really? Shepherd? Nice work, JJ. I digress. Tabetha is our leader, our “doctor,” our fixer. She works for the good of her people. I can only hope that if I ever needed an improv leg amputated she would be willing to put me underneath a makeshift blade and be brave.

Shawn Handlon – Sawyer. I want to say this is because Shawn walks around shirtless and makes gross sexual comments. But only the latter is true. Shawn is our comic relief and our perspective-keeper. Any concern you could possibly have will be assuaged by Shawn’s sage, “It’ll be fine,” spoken with the gravity of someone who has been around the world and seen it all. In reality, he’s really just always ready to offer some patented “sarcasm and indifference” with no apologies. Sawyer doesn’t make excuses and neither does Shawn.

James Mastriaenni – Charlie. Sweet Baby James has the history of rock star at an incredulously young age. Don’t let his innocent face disarm you. He’s done some crazy things. But underneath it all he’s the greatest guy and a reliable friend. In the same way, you meet Charlie and think, oh cute, he plays guitar! And then bam…he’s all over some heroin. You don’t know whether to punch him or pat him on the head. I’ve done both to James.

Katy Marquardt – Kate. Similar name…coincidence? I admit, Katy’s not the badass fugitive that Kate is. But they do share that self-sufficient, every-woman quality that make the bad boys sit up and take notice. The main difference: Katy’s weapon of choice is the piano. Not as handy as a 9mm, but just as impressive.

Peter Fluet – Jin. He speaks Korean, understands more English than he lets on and sometimes he catches us fish. I guess he could also be a polar bear…have you seen him play pool volleyball? ZING.

Natalie Sullivan – Tough call. I’m annoyingly introspective like John Locke, a fixer like Jack, a smart-ass like Sawyer and a gossip like Hurley. If only I had Sayid’s hair. Dreeaaaamy.

In the end, much like the characters on “Lost island” we aboard the Spirit must create our own reality. We share space, time and supplies with each other…we know each other’s moods, thoughts, schedules, eating habits, strengths, weaknesses…and occasionally we do a sketch show and an improv set. It’s only a matter of time before the “others” of the NCL Production Company put us in cages for experiments.

But back to my title…why do I hate Lost? TV shouldn’t be this hard. If I wanted to put together pieces I’d buy a puzzle.

Photo Gallery

2008-01-13T12:50:00.000-08:00

No energy for blogging again this week. Chalk it up to the GI outbreak (I escaped!) and the Lost (I am ensnared). But I have a couple of fun pictures to share, so please enjoy.

Crew party!
Pe-ter and Nat-lie. BFF! (Please read that in a sing-song voice) And speaking of friends....Bree, Nick and Joffee are 2gether 4ever.
James and Jenna rock out some Coca-Cola. It's a long walk back to deck 4.
April, be more photogenic, I DARE you.

Back to New Year's week....
Erin and I just went zip-lining and cave tubing. Thank you, Belize!

What happens when you're drunk on the deck on NYE and your room steward walks by. Arnold!!
Erin and a Coke bear. Adorbs!
The beginning of the end of my New Years. Hello 2008. I am not well.
Some people party. And then there's Greg.

Ship stats-

Weeks down: 14

Weeks to go: 5

TV series discovered: 2 (Lost and Ugly Betty)

Books started: 3

Books finished: 0

Subway trains ridden: a few

Caves tubed: 1

Ship wrecks snorkeled: 1

Blogs written: almost enough

Great in '08

2008-01-11T12:05:00.000-08:00

I just like rhyming.

This week has been devoted to rest. The past few weeks what with the guests and holidays and shows and weather have been more than nuts, so this week we have holed up in 10601 and watched season one of Lost. James and I are brand new to the phenomenon and boy are we excited! It's a crazy show. I'm hooked, but I'm also super anxious to know how it all ends. What if it really doesn't have an ending?? Oh no! For now, I'm content to believe there are dinosaurs in the forest and that John Locke is a prophet, Grapes of Wrath style.

Well, boo. I tried to put up some pictures, but no dice. New Orleans it is. For now, I'll just say this week has been filled with great TV, awesome shows (our shows, that is), delightful passengers (can you believe it?), and general lower key, fun times. I'm starting to stress a little about going back to the real world in 5 weeks. Work, waking up early, putting up shows...how did I ever do it before? Now the thought of a mid-day improv rehearsal wears me out. Oh boy. What hath the Spirit wrought?

New Year's Rockin' Eve

2008-01-06T13:02:00.000-08:00

Oh boy, 2008! This was by far the strangest cruise thus far. Not only for New Year's, drinking, the lack of Dick Clark or a countdown, or any other ship anomoly, but the weather was the worst ever. The ship rocked like crazy, people threw up everywhere, and worst of all Bier Fest was cancelled. WHAT??? Yes, dear reader, we went a week without it. Tears.

The good side of the strange..Erin was onboard! It was awesome to have my BFF with me to celebrate the New Year. I got to show him all the greatest hits of ship life, minus of course the festival of Bier. Oh well. I am pretty worn out from this week's activities, so I will post some pics and get on with my day....

Bourbon Street!
Fam-ly din-ner (clap clap clap clap clap clap)
Who's excited to see On Broadway?? This guy!!
Pre-party in 11667!
Code Oscar. We've gone overboard.

More to come next week. I'm exhausted. Happy New Year to all my friends everywhere!!

Happy New Year!

2007-12-30T07:22:00.000-08:00

Really 2007? You're done? Wow. Crazy.

Happy New Year to everyone at home and otherwise. I'll be celebrating on the boat with my best friend, Erin. He's coming onboard today!! I may not blog for the rest of this week as a result. So to all I can't be with this year, I wish you a very happy 2008.

Wishing you Joy and Love from the Crescent City! This picture isn't great, but I only had my phone to take it.

It's a fast-food daquiri place. The same place is featured in the mall food court. God bless New Orleans.

Christmas Spirit

2007-12-28T10:23:00.001-08:00

Not just a clever (?) blog title, but also the title of our Christmas production.

Oh boy! This is my Christmas morning face. I previewed it at our party the night of our Christmas show. It was technically Christmas morning.

I'm not saying Santa isn't real. But I am saying that's Peter under there. He's the best Santa on record.
This is the Spirit of Christmas family. Dad Shawn, Mom Tab, Annoying "Gangsta" Son James, and More Annoying Little Sister Natalie (Stickers and ponies and myspace.com!)
What a fun albeit crazy weird Christmas. Doing a show on Christmas Eve = odd. Doing a show on Christmas Day for the crew where the goal is swearing and drinking onstage as much as possible = awesome...?

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!

Yule Blog

2007-12-25T11:32:00.000-08:00

My Christmas gift to myself is that blog title.

Merry Christmas!!! I’m sitting in my current home, cabin 10601, enjoying some Christmas music and some Ghirardelli Peppermint Chocolate coffee (courtesy of World Market in New Orleans and the tiny coffee maker I took from the boys’ room). But how did I get here? Let’s review the last 48 hours or so of this Christmas cruise adventure….

December 23: A whirlwind of a day that ended with many a full shopping bag and still not every single thing I intended to get. Christmas, even at sea, is so much pressure! This week was exciting because I took the bus out to the Best Buy, World Market, B&N and to the Oakwood Mall. Oh boy, seeing the mall was even more exciting than seeing the Wal-Mart a few weeks back. Bath & Body Works alone was worth the trip. My Pumpkin Spice wallflower has made this a real holiday. Oh and I will add too that we began the day at the seafarer center, which is the best place ever. Global Ministries provides this place for crew members to use internet, make phone calls, send and receive mail and have treats! This week there were homemade Christmas things. Yes, please. Back on the ship, we attended our weekly family dinner featuring James’ parents. Tabetha’s fiancé Greg and his family came aboard as well. At midnight, we had a rehearsal for our Christmas show in the Stardust. Big Day.

December 24, Christmas Eve: Despite having gone to sleep around 3am, I wake up a little after 8 to eat and go to 9am mass in the Stardust. Yes, MASS! There is a priest onboard this week to celebrate masses. About 20 or so super-Catholics were in attendance for this morning mass. Msgr. Fitzgerald introduced himself and then asked us all where we were from, and he seemed to know everything about every diocese anyone was a part of. Impressive. Mass aboard a ship is comical (Kelly, Vinnie, Anthony, I wish you could’ve seen it). There was a table with a sleeve of hosts (in the style of Ritz crackers) and a bottle of wine and a bottle of Evian water. When the cruise staff girl came to open the wine before mass began, the priest asked her if he had to pay a corkage fee. Bits! After mass I talked a bit with the priest and then proceeded to the gym, where I realized that crowded ship + sea day = no machines for me. Fast forward to two full rehearsals for the Christmas show. They went fairly well and then it was nearly show time. After some scrambling for final Secret Santa arrangements, the cast was ready. It was odd and awesome to be doing a full show all together with the NCL company and all guest entertainers. Everyone is amazing and Ruben pulled us together in such a great way. First show could’ve been smoother…but was still good. We had a better audience (and a little more fun) in the second show. Just standing backstage with everyone and sharing our little rituals was so much fun. Although I learned that I hesitate before saying the improv standard of “Got your back” to a family of acrobats. Let’s be honest…I can’t catch any of them.

Post-show: party!! Ruben & Co once again come through and provide us with some awesome food and drinks. After more sugar overload, we pause the festivity for Midnight Mass to happen. Once again, it’s odd, but very nice. In my life I have only missed Midnight Mass once. I thought for sure this year would be twice. Thanks, NCL. Our party got rolling again once Mass ended. But we were all pretty exhausted. In an hour or so we wrapped up. Pictures of the evening were immediately put onto my computer. They will be shared this Friday, I hope. Peter makes an amazing Santa Claus.

Note on the Christmas show: I probably haven’t mentioned exactly what it is. Basically, they put all of the entertainers into one Christmas variety show, each of us doing whatever we do best. The singers and dancers (guess what) sang and danced to Christmas music, the tumbling family, Cameo Rascale, did some fun stuff like acrobatically putting a star on top of the Christmas tree, among other things, and Chantz, our resident musical wunderkind, sang and tapped. Second City wrote the throughline of a family reading The Night Before Christmas, leading into the music numbers. Tab and Shawn were mom and dad and James and I were the annoying young teen kids. Katy scored us of course…but what about Peter?? He was the best Santa Claus ever. Wait for the pictures!

Today, December 25, CHRISTMAS!! Here I sit, with half of my coffee gone, and The Christmas Song playing through my laptop speakers. I admit I’m a little misty. It’s not as though I have a home to think about missing. My parents have long since left my childhood residences. I may have even longed for Reno this year, but the only person left there is my sister and I’ve never seen her new home. This would’ve been my first Christmas in my new Chicago apartment, so all Christmas memories lie in the places that came before it (or on Michigan Ave or at Zoo Lights). So what is that I’m missing this year? Well…Erin, of course. He is in Wisconsin today, undoubtedly enjoying copious amounts of holiday fare and family. My parents are likely playing Santa to their residents, being family to those who have none. My sister might be working a very busy Keno counter (I don’t know if today is her usual day off or not) but only after opening presents with her husband and two young step-children. My aunts and uncles are spread out, my grandma is in Phoenix, where I spent a delightful Christmas two years ago, my closest friends are in Chicago, New York, LA and Florida, and my last several Christmases have been spent in different places each year. So the point of this long story is, I have no traditions. Well…except for music, food, and trees. But I can’t call any one locale my Christmas home. So this year, the Spirit is my home and the people are my family. And although I miss Erin, mom, dad, Amy and Meredith terribly, I am extremely lucky to have the people I have here.

In one hour, our Secret Santas will reveal themselves. We’ve had a lot of fun over the last week sneaking around and outsourcing our gift-giving to our cabin stewards and the production company so as not to be discovered. And as creative we’ve been, nothing compares to the lengths the production company went to for their SS operation. Those guys are nuts. Although I was incredibly proud of how I snuck a gift for my Secret Santee into James’ Ship n Males performance. There’s nothing like getting a jar of sprinkles from a guy in his underwear.

To close out this Yule Blog (yes!), here is the Night Before Christmas I wrote for my friends aboard the Spirit. It may not make sense to anyone else, but at least you’ll all know the names of my boat family….

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the Spirit
A party was starting but no one could hear it
Just beyond Windows, aft on deck five
In the crew bar the holiday was coming alive

And I in my boxers, retired to my quarters
Flipping past Larry King and Law & Order
Katie was equally ready for snoozing
Six months is a while to be freestyle cruising

Tab was with Greg, James with his folks
Bethany laughing at Shawn’s gross jokes
And then there was Peter, to everyone’s delight
Starting a new drawing that would take all night

When to our surprise, we heard our phones’ ringers
Who was it? Our friends, the NCL singers
Kwame and Nick, Jenna and Chantal
What reason could they have for this late night call?

“Ombres in the Stardust! Games of Taboo!
If only you could hang out with all of the crew
But the Gaswirth Mansion has an open door
You can’t get in trouble for being on deck 4”

We sprang out of bed and put on our pants
On the way down the hall we ran into Chantz
We told him about our plans for night capping
I don’t know if he heard over all of his tapping

As we continued down the starboard hall
We spied something shiny: Cameo Rascale!
Gayle jumped the broomstick, while we heard Steve sing
Nicole hoola-hooped then tossed James a fifth ring

Down the elevator, on deck four we landed
Wait, it’s not cool to show up empty handed
We need something to show our thanks to Nick
We needed some beer and we needed it quick

Off to the crew bar as fast as we could
“I don’t know, guys, I don’t think we should
Even with our heads down and our nametags on
We don’t have the freedom they do on the Dawn.”

Then in a moment, we all knew the answer
Let’s call on our escorts, the NCL dancers!
On Katrina, on Joe, on Ruben and Bree
Katherine and April, Topher and Bobby

With you we can venture without any fear
Hooray! We can have one dollar beer
We gathered some bottles and also some cans
And thanked Ruben, our real-life Superman

Off to the party we finally fly
And hope we haven’t missed much Family Guy
Into Nick’s room the lot of us barge
Good thing his place is ridiculously large

Our Christmas adventure has ended this way
It may seem like just another sea day
It may not be tradition, but it’s something near it
Merry Christmas to my family aboard the Spirit

Senor BLOG

2007-12-21T11:09:00.000-08:00

YES!!! Pun intended!! We're at Senor Frog's in Cozumel and these pictures actually loaded. I love it.

This blog is dedicated to representing. Check it out. In Belize, there is a bar with a bunch of random sports team stuff. Below, you will see me claiming the Gator National Champion shirt.

This one below is for my friend Brooke. You apparently have family in Barbados.
This one is from Bar Harbor and is dedicated to the best harold team ever. Oh memories.
On a related note, Sean Kelly, this one is for you, courtesy of the Crescent City of New Orleans.

I love you all. These little things keep you with me.

I just had a really weak shot forced into my face by a crazy Mexican girl with a whistle. Thanks, Production Company.

Crewsing

2007-12-20T12:56:00.001-08:00

Crew pun! So now that I'm seeing the same ports every week, my blog has turned far more to shiplife. One ship inevitability is the insanity of the periodic crew party. Last night an infamous crew party occured and no one was disappointed, save for maybe the security guards who have to repeatedly tell the drunken masses to get to bed, lest a wayward passenger witness the craziness. After a guitar performance by our cruise director, the vocal stylings of the head chef, and some rockin' DJ work, we retired to the dancers' hallway, a part of the crew area we are allowed (now) to visit but only at the discretion of our prodcution company escorts. There ensued activities that I can only imagine would mimic those of a secondary boarding school...too nuts for high school, but not quite at the advanced level of college debauchery. Guitar Hero, Family Guy, and even an acoustic sing along featuring the incomparable Oasis. Yes, drama ran rampant as did Bobby and Katrina. Those young dancers...They are trouble. delightful, adorable trouble. I have a picture or two of the evening, but again, Belize is not friendly to picture posting. I'll be lucky if I can get this blog loaded at all. Here goes....

Spirits of the Spirit

2007-12-19T10:44:00.000-08:00

I can’t really report on my parents’ visit until I can properly post pictures. In light of this, I will instead have to report on the goings-on of last night…GHOST HUNT!!!!! Apparently the ship formerly known as the Star Leo harbors some haunters, primarily in the Stardust theatre. So five brave souls set out on a journey for the departed. At midnight we met in the girls’ dressing room. Chantal was sorely disappointed that I had not brought along my computer to show her pictures that my mother had taken which appeared to include “ombres” (Chantal-speak for orbs). So I went back to my room to collect my evidence. Upon my return Chantal, Nick, Peter and James were sitting back stage amid the band set-up, enjoying the darkness and the creepy ship noises that come along with moving at minimal speed in choppy waters. I showed my pictures and Chantal confirmed, yep those are certified ombres. After Nick repeatedly told me to kill my laptop because the light as scaring the spirits away (really, Nick??), we sat in the dark until the vacuuming was done in the house (spoooooky vacuuming). We then moved into the house, and Nick the techmaster turned the lights out and we moved from seat to seat taking photos (try without your flash, Chantal!) and seeing if we could feel any cold breezes or mysterious taps on the shoulder. I admit a cold spot or two were felt, but I never went running. Ultimately, the darkened quiet Stardust was extremely peaceful. After much scientific experimentation (e.g. sitting and waiting), our ghosthunters retired one by one. In the wee hours before we finally packed it in, a group of very drunk passengers burst into the theatre to take pictures and be a-holes on our stage. Nick thought quickly and turned the houselights on, sending them running. That alone was worth the whole evening of waiting.

Our conclusions:
- Orbs exist but they hate really high-tech cameras
- Ghosts are people who don’t realize they’re dead…and really love On Broadway
- If the ghosts date all the way back to when the Star Leo was born, then we’re talking spooks from ’97…they probably don’t even carry cell phones!
- Sitting in an empty theatre late at night is decidedly something we won’t regularly do on land
- Demi Moore and Cameron Diaz were much hotter with longer hair

Stay tuned for our next installment of Ghost Hunters….

Where Have I Been?

2007-12-13T23:05:00.000-08:00

It has been brought to my attention that my blog is lagging. Well, dear reader, it’s true. My regular day to upload pictures was the day my parents arrived to come aboard the Spirit and see what I’m doing for a living. They are enjoying their time away from work and away from their tiny town in California. In fact, the population of this boat may very well rival Hanford.

The scripted show this week was a huge success…two of the best performances we’ve done thus far. Tonight’s improv set was fun and very well attended, albeit a little wonky due to the fact that James has caught the plague and was not able to play with us. By plague I mean whatever it is that has been going around the ProdCo of late. It’s a respiratory infection. I’m more than a little concerned that it will land on me too, so I will have to stop sneaking into Joe and Katrina’s room and making out with Joe while he’s sleeping. I mean, that’s just unhealthy, right?

So to recap…mom and dad and I have been playing bingo, eating and shopping. You know, all the things that I make fun of the people who cruise for doing. My parents are these people. YIKES.

If I can’t get to a good internet connection until next week, I apologize for the lack of images to go along with my color commentary. But oh well, I’m really tired right now, so it wasn’t all that colorful anyway.

I promise to be a lot more exciting next time. In fact, I will be devoting an entry to the NCL Production Company. Take that, Peter…

Saints and Sailors

2007-12-02T10:46:00.000-08:00

Hold one moment. I'm quietly congratulating myself for that subject line. And....we're clear. Here are some pictures from this past week.

What James, You've never heard of a birthday punch in the face before?

We were surprised with a cake. Thanks, Ruben and Tabetha!!
I'm singing the crap out of something.Here's a random sampling of our karaoke room party. From left: Nick, Joe, Ruben, Bree, Peter, Katherine, Bobby and partially seen Tabetha and Katy.
Actual birthday night, Beer Fest. The Beer Fest is by far the most entertaining event of the week during a regular cruise. For many reasons. The three of us tend to dance more than others. Beer Fest is an exception though. Even Tabetha joined a conga line. WHAT?

Through the legs of our Coyote Ugly dancer, Bobby, Peter shows his party spirit.

Look up. Wow.

Our first time in Belize City, and this is what we find. Scariest Santa Claus ever. And the guy in the red suit. ZING! Just kidding, Peter. Seriously. Terrifying.

This week was a whirlwind. Stats: Year gained - 1; Drinks had - more than enough; Cake eaten - just enough; Songs sung - too many; Birthday text messages unreadable until today - 6; Days until mom and dad arrive - 7; Days until Erin arrives - 28.

Happy First Sunday of Advent!!

Birthdayville, Population 2

2007-11-28T09:00:00.000-08:00

So I’ve been 27 for almost 11 hours now. I have no opinion of it yet. But I’ve gotten off to a good start. Dinner last night was great, as was our karaoke party. Thanks to Nick, we figured out how to use the machine and we rocked out until well after 2am. Highlights: Katy and I channeling Salt n Peppa, Shawn as The Boss, Nick jumping into every Billy Joel song, Katrina doing complete justice to Janis Joplin, James and I dueting Incubus, and Peter pretty much singing everything. It was a great time. Kind of nice to have pre-partied and still have this birthday left. I have nothing today until our shows at 7:30, so it’ll be a lot of recovery and gym time. What a nice gift.

And btdubs, pictures will be posted on Sunday…

On the Eve of My 27th Year

2007-11-27T15:34:00.000-08:00

Twenty seven years ago today my mother prepared a Thanksgiving dinner for herself, my dad and my 7 year-old sister. Shortly after that dinner, I made my way into the world, cementing my unnatural connection to pumpkin and green bean casserole. Roughly ten months prior, my sister had made a request of my parents: please give her a baby sister. A trip to Vegas and 9 months later, there I was. Well, it wasn’t an easy night for my mom. Heavy with turkey and 7 pounds 5 ounces of me, she struggled through hours of labor where, as an indication of my future inclinations, I refused to enter the birth canal. If I had access to my prenatal thoughts, I imagine I would find fear of going towards the light. After all, I was very warm, comfortable and in the middle of a Thanksgiving meal. Nonetheless, my time had come, and if I was not agreeable the doctors would have no choice but to take me by force. My mom wasn’t having it, and once again foreshadowing the future she pushed as hard as she possibly could to get me where I was supposed to be. A little while later out I came, greeted by jokes that I must’ve belonged to the “milk man” because my mop of black hair and dark eyes didn’t match either of my parents’ coloring. My dad is a good natured guy, otherwise some doctors and nurses might have been knocked out. Meanwhile, I’m told, my grandma Randell stood in the hallway holding her purse and awaiting news of her new granddaughter. I know that my dad’s brothers at some point might have barged into the labor room…or maybe that part of the story belongs to my sister’s birth. I’m not sure. I was there, but I was very distracted and did not have the benefit of language to match the images. I also know that two names were up for grabs for me…Meredith and Natalie. Ultimately my sister vetoed Meredith, as did my mother for fear that people would call me Mary. So the French word for Christmas, or “birth” won out so close to the holidays.

Little did I know that meanwhile to the east in NYC another girl would be born 364 days later named Meredith…and her name would’ve very nearly been Natalie or Nadine. And on an equally cosmic note, I would be baptized on the same day in January 1981 when another girl name Teri Lea was born who 14 years down the road would become my Confirmation sponsor.

But I digress.

Have I mentioned too that James in my cast has the same birthday as me? Just three years later. Sweet Baby James. It’s our big day. It’s actually kind of nice to be sharing a day and a party with someone. It’s a lot of pressure on your own.

Wait, did I say party?? Boy did I! My surreal life is delivering a surreal birthday party, courtesy of my Second City cast and the NCL production cast. They’re my boat family and I couldn’t be happier to be celebrating my birthday with them. James and I chose Cagney’s Steakhouse as our birthday dinner venue. We’re both meat people. Then we will retire to a karaoke room (yes, a karaoke room) for birthday craziness. Many nights on this boat are a party. That makes it that much more of a challenge for this night to be special.

Things I miss on my birthday being away from home:
Erin
Meredith
Holiday Club
CIN threads
Cupcakes from (guess where) Cupcakes
SAMA’s conference room birthday party
A musical phone call from my parents
Spending my birthday eve at CSz rehearsal
Girls’ dinner with Megan and Meredith
Chicago in general

Things I’m excited about here:
Cagney’s filet
Seeing James turn 24 and remembering that year fondly
Decorations compliments of Katy
Peter’s comic art
Tabetha’s dancing (watch those shoulders!)
Shawn’s bits (or are they?)
Not having to wake up for work tomorrow

All in all, it’s a good day.

Happy Birthday, Meredith!!

Big Easy Take 2

2007-11-25T10:59:00.000-08:00

So here we are in New Orleans for the 2nd week. This week was quiet. We spent a crazy day in Honduras submersed in the culture. Or at least the culture of the port. It's quite the tale, that I will have to relay in the future.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone on land! It was hard to go without the parade and the traditional dinner, but we were fortunate enough to be included in the dinner of the NCL produciton company cast. These guys have quickly become our good friends and it was awesome of them to have us.

Cast picture!! There's nothing like closing down a night club to have Thanksgiving dinner.

Couldn't get any good shots, but this gives you the idea.

Beautiful Jackson Square in New Orleans. That's the St. Louis Cathedral in the background.

Wal-Mart. The American beacon. It was quite the sight after two weeks in the islands.

Back to the sea...more updates to come...

Reposition Ends, Routine Begins

2007-11-18T13:23:00.000-08:00

So we left New York 6 years ago. Oh wait, two weeks? Same thing. The reposition cruise felt like a life time. In some ways it was the best times so far, and in other ways, not so much. I went on some excursions in the one-time ports, resulting in some awesomeness. Zip-lining, monkey-watching, snorkeling...those things were great. Also hit some beaches that were the most beautiful places I've seen in recent times. Since I have not been able to post photos for the past two weeks, I'll just toss some out for your enjoyment, dear reader.

Making friends with the dancers at a crew party. Dancers are attractive.
Tabetha and I couldn't more excited.

Katy and I getting ready to fly over the rain forest.

Sunset over the water.

James showing St. Thomas what's up.

Monkeys!

After our cast snorkeling excursion in Aruba, we enojoyed lunch at Mambo's.

Currently I'm sitting in front of St. Louis Cathedral in New Orleans, full of jambalaya and beignets. Me, not the cathedral. I'm going to love seeing New Orleans each week. And the Super Wal-Mart. I'm so American.

At Sea with Katy Marquardt

2007-11-17T13:42:00.000-08:00

Spotlight on Katy Marquardt!

Katy “Crazy 88s” Marquardt is my fellow Chicagoan on this boat. She resides in the Lincoln Park area and joins us from a previous 4 month stint on this very ship. We maintain that she loves our cast the most, and she is far too nice to argue. Things I learned about Katy while rooming with her: she enjoys ambient Law & Order, she loves reading, and she is much tidier than I will ever be. We are fortunate to have her behind the keyboard and by our side. If not for her, our shows would be eerily quiet.

Natalie: Katy, this is your second contract on the Spirit. Why another four months?
Katie: I wanted the time to practice and write. That’s a luxury I don’t have at home. There’s lots of free time here. Time for creative…
N: Exploration?
K: Sure, I’ll say that. If I think of another word, I’ll let you know.
N: You’re from Chicago.
K: Well, originally from Indiana, but yes, I came here from Chicago.
N: What do you miss the most about home?
K: My family. Just being able to share experiences with them. On a more superficial level, I miss Chicago pizza and good salsa.
N: Well that brings me to ask, what’s your favorite pizza in Chicago?
K: It’s a tie between Ranalli’s and Lou Malnati’s.
N: And the salsa?
K: I love the salsa at Tarasca’s. And Adobo Grille. They have that guacamole. I could make a meal out of just the chips and guacamole.
N: Table side! It’s awesome. We here know, and I’ll let our readers know, you’re a vegetarian. How long have you been?
K: Thirteen years or so. Since middle school.
N: Was there some event that sparked it?
K: I always had a hard time eating animals. Then I was a at a pig roast and it was really hard to see the pig. I love animals too much to eat them.
N: Has it been hard to eat vegetarian on this ship?
K: Yes, since I’m not a big fan of curry, and that’s mostly what the vegetarian food is in the dining room. But I guess if they had better food I would just eat more of it, so it balances out this way.
N: And to go back to your past…how long have you been playing piano?
K: Twenty three years.
N: Wow. That’s practically since birth.
K: Yeah. My mom’s a piano teacher, so that’s why I started so young.
N: Tough question, but what’s your absolute favorite song to play?
K: That is hard. Can I say a classical song and a pop song?
N: Please.
K: Classical - Fantasy Impromptu by Chopin. Pop - Come on Eileen.
N: Well now I have to ask, why haven’t you used Come on Eileen in our improv sets??
K: That’s not really improv.
N: But would you be open to a fully improvised musical based on your favorite songs?
K: Yes! But we’d probably have to axe the classical songs.
N: No way, we could use them.
K: We could. And Peter would be happy because I could throw in Only the Good Die Young. It’s a karaoke favorite of his.
N: And speaking of karaoke, back to the ship. What’s your favorite thing about the ship?
K: The live music.
N: Favorite band on board?
K: Next Stage. [Interviewer’s note: Next Stage is great. They do all kinds of pop and rock covers]
N: Would you ever be willing to play music exclusively on a cruise ship?
K: Yeah, if they’d pay me.
N: So what is your least favorite part of the ship?
K: The coffee cups. They don’t have proper handles.
N: You just won the award for the best interview answer ever. And now the obligatory question - who is your favorite cast member?
K: Rusty [our technical director]. Does he count?
N: Sure. And your least favorite?
K: Jerrick [our stage manager] because he’s leaving us!
N: You are undoubtedly the most positive member of our cast. What is the reason for the sunny disposition?
K: Insanity. I don’t know. I tend to be positive, give people the benefit of the doubt. I have a cynical side, but I guess it’s overshadowed by my optimism.
N: That’s unusual in improv. Will you stay in improv long term?
K: I don’t know, I’m figuring that out. I’d like to try different things, like acting, writing, working on my own projects. I feel like I fit in in improv though.
N: So what would be your dream job?
K: Nothing specific, just something creatively driven, that I’m happy doing and that pays my bills. I’m still figuring out what that would be.
N: Aren’t we all. And now about our show. What’s your favorite sketch?
K: Captain Apathy and Drive. I would say Pictionary, but I’ve seen it too many times.
N: I’ve heard that. What’s your favorite improv game?
K: To play, I’d say Sounds Like a Song or Irish Drinking Song.
N: A lot of improvisors are intimidated by musical improv. What’s your advice for them?
K: Get out of your head and look at it like any other improv scene. You can do it!
N: OK, time for lightning round questions…Chocolate or vanilla?
K: Vanilla.
N: Brown or black?
K: Black.
N: Caribbean or New England?
K: Caribbean.
N: Elton John or Billy Joel?
K: Billy Joel.
N: And finally, what’s the first thing you will do when you get home?
K: See my mom and dad. I mean hopefully…they’re picking me up from the airport.

Thanks, Katy!

At Sea with Tabetha Wells

2007-11-13T07:48:00.000-08:00

Dear Reader, I've been buried in sand for several days now. It was difficult to dig my way out in order to post this blog, but I've finally done it. I am unable to post pictures from the ship, but I will do so asap. In the meantime, please enjoy the most recent company spotlight.

Love,
Nat (spelled backwards is TAN!)

Spotlight on Tabetha Wells!

Tabetha is the company manager for the Second City aboard the NCL Spirit. This means she’s the liaison between the cast and the ship’s management. She’s got the power. But she’s many things…the blonde girl onstage, my lady friend in Pictionary, and my occasional cabin-mate. Luckily for me, she’s the Food Network junkie I am, so she’s the one who made the brunch at Mesa possible while we were in NYC. Runner, foodie, fiancée…how does she do it? Let’s find out…

Natalie: Tabetha, I notice your comfy blanket. Tell me about it.
Tabetha: This was an after though when I was seeking a more comfortable bed situation. If I increase my comfort with a mattress pad, how much more with a blanket.
N: Great, great. So…the bed is uncomfortable?
T: The bed as it comes is akin to a burlap sack filled with rocks and needles and ferrets.
N: Could you elaborate?
T: Dead ferrets.
N: You’ve been on the Spirit before? How does this experience compare?
T: Coming back is familiar, so it’s better in that respect. Plus my cast is awesome.
N: Good answer. You are currently away from your fiancé, Greg. Three words to describe Greg.
T: Funny, handsome, and wonderful.
N: AW! Are we dating the same guy? Stop! Greg comes on over Christmas. What’s the first thing, minding the brown bag foul, you’ll want to do with him?
T: He’s been on the ship twice, and both times Teppanyaki’s been booked, so maybe that. We’ll probably ditch his family and find a quiet place to watch the water.
N: To leave Greg for a moment…for our readers, how long have you been with the Second City?
T: Ships for the last year, before that on and off since 1997.
N: Horrible question - when did you realize you were funny?
T: That’s like asking a gay person when they knew they were gay.
N: So you’re saying…
T: I’m not gay.
N: No, but you’re saying it’s more nature than nurture. You were born funny and you had to discover it. No spark moment?
T: I didn’t realize you could make a career out of comedy. I had the record Free to be You and Me, there was a Boy Meets Girl “skit” and I knew I wanted to be funny like that.
N: So who is your favorite comedian or comedic actor?
T: My favorite comedians are Jon Stewart, Seinfeld, and Ellen DeGeneres. Tina Fey because of what she’s accomplished…and the facial scar. I love the alumni of Second City who have gone out and done something awesome.
N: Job interview question, where do you see yourself in five years?
T: Married to Greg, living with Scooter and working as a writer for a TV show, satire or sketch show.
N: Back to the ship. What is your favorite thing about ship life?
T: The sound of the ocean.
N: Least favorite thing?
T: Having to break the news that we’re not allowed in crew areas anymore. Or losing a cast member.
N: Do you foresee us losing a cast member?
T: You.
N: Why?
T: Not to scandal or issues…at some point you’ll walk away. Jump overboard.
N: Yikes! That’s a mirror I didn’t want put in front of me.
T: Or James, who may “accidentally” sleep with someone.
N: Which brings me to the obligatory question, who is your favorite cast member?
T: Me. I admire my work and have a lot of potential. My least favorite is James. He’ll accidentally have sex with someone.
N: You’re from Canada. What do you miss most?
T: Colorful money. And the healthcare.
N: If you could only live in one city the rest of your life, in theory, where would it be?
T: New York City. I’d like to be somewhere I won’t run out of stuff to do. If my French was better, I’d say Paris.
N: Lightning round! Vanilla or chocolate?
T: Chocolate
N: Black or brown?
T: Black
N: Rachel Ray or Giada?
T: Rachel Ray
N: Canada or US?
T: Canada
N: What’s the very first thing you’ll do when you get home?
T: Walk my dog in the park. It’s always the first thing I do.
And finally, Tabetha says: “I don’t like the p***y.”

At Sea with James Mastroianni!

2007-11-05T08:07:00.000-08:00

James is the youngest member of our ensemble. His youth has betrayed us yet again! Inside bits aside, you’d never guess that James is relatively new to improv (compared to us old folks, that is). He’s a delight to play with, both onstage and off…that’s right ladies - this guy is single and ready to mingle! He’ll always remind you he’s from Pittsburgh, but is happily transplanted in L.A. where he works as a server at the famous Improv comedy club.

James and I met for a lovely dinner at the Windows dining room. I brought along a mini notebook and pen, so the following is transcribed from my notes and my memory. I’m new at this interview business.

Natalie: What made you fall in love with improv?
James: I think the challenge of it. I moved to LA to be an actor, but they offered half off classes at Second City, so I took them. One night I saw an improv show with Dave Rozowski, Scott Adset, Craig Cackowski, Kay Cannon and Mark Evan Jackson, and I thought there is no way they made that up. I wanted to be able to do that.
N: Describe LA in 3 words.
J: Overpopulated, competitive, narcissistic.
N: And now the ship in 3 words.
J: Commercial, diverse, loud.
N: What’s been your favorite experience so far on the ships?
J: The inside jokes.
N: Of course. And to avoid full disclosure, what’s a one-word hint at your favorite inside joke?
J: Brr-brr. Or tiramisu.
N: For these next two questions, please be totally honest. Who is your favorite cast member?
J: Well, right now I’d have to say Natalie, for letting me talk about myself and for buying me a glass of wine.
N: Good answer. And who is your least favorite?
J: I’d have to say Katy, for putting me in the position to make a mastectomy joke in front of her sister [when she visited the ship]. But I guess they still liked me.
N: Classy. So James, what is something that, in the 5 weeks we’ve known each other, the cast still hasn’t learned about you?
J: That’s tough, you guys know a lot. [long pause] I lived in a trailer park for a year.
N: Wow. Who are you?
J: Yep. I was born in North Carolina and lived in Moorehead City.
N: Did you just live there as a baby?
J: No, I was probably around 5 when we lived there.
N: Has that affected you in any way?
J: It affects the way I look at poor people. Like they’re animals, you know. I’m kidding, you’re not writing that, are you?
N: No.
J: I learned that it’s easy to judge people until you’re in that place.
N: This is a good segue to my next question. If you had a million dollars right this second, what would you do with it?
J: I’d give 10% to my parents, invest $500,000...
N: This is pretty specific.
J: Throw a huge party in Las Vegas, $5000 would go to the first homeless person I’d see…
N: I hope he wouldn’t make bad choices with it.
J: Hey, he’d be living. I‘ve always wanted to do that, can you imagine the look on his face? And I’d go on big vacation with my family.
N: Nice. I know that you love Bill Murray. What’s your favorite movie of his?
J: My favorite movie and favorite character are different. Favorite Bill Murray movie is Lost in Translation. But my favorite character he’s ever played is Ernie McCracken from Kingpin. He’s definitely my biggest comedic influence.
N: So I know Bill Murray’s your favorite comedian. But since I’m a lady, I have to ask, who is your favorite female comedian?
J: Hm…there are a lot that I like. I love Amy Poehler, Catherine O’Hara, Tina Fey, Lucille Ball. It’s hard to think of leading women. Probably Catherine O’Hara.
N: And the obligatory question, what’s your favorite scene in our show?
J: My favorite to be in is Dummy, because it’s silent and I get to be playful. My favorite to watch…I like Bagpipes and Morning Person. There are a lot of blackouts in our show.
N: For the short attention spans. And speaking of, I have to ask, short form or long form?
J: Playing long form is more satisfying to me, but I understand why people love short form. It’s fast, the audience loves it. But what I love about long form is the call backs and the way it can all be brought together at the end. Of course 70% of long form sucks.
N: That’s true. Ok, we’re coming to the end of our interview, so here’s the lightening round. Wine, red or white?
J: Red.
N: Black or brown?
J: Black or brown what?
N: Just basic color scheme.
J: Brown.
N: Chocolate or vanilla?
J: Chocolate.
N: East coast or West coast?
J: Oh that’s hard. I have to say East. But I love the West coast. I guess anything but the Midwest. Except Chicago. I love Chicago.
N: Nice save. Would you ever move to Chicago?
J: Like if I got Tour Co? Yes.
N: And finally…what’s the #1 thing, minding the brown bag foul (sorry, that’s a ComedySportz bit...it means don’t say sex), that you will want to do when you get off the ship?
J: I’ll say, to stick with the themes in my life, throw a big party. I threw a big one when I left, I’ll throw a big one when I get back. James isn’t against the fun.

Thank you James!!

My Halloween Costume

2007-11-03T09:35:00.001-07:00

A little late, but I wanted to ease my mother's fear that I've lost the spirit. I walked around the ship like this on Halloween night...

Hooray for Maine! Bar Harbor was really beautiful. And I can prove it.

I'm usually behind the camera. Thanks, Peter, for giving me the chance to prove I'm here.

I'm in NY today for the last time. Tonight we head towards the Caribbean. Fingers crossed for no hurricanes....

Week 4

2007-11-02T07:59:00.000-07:00

Although daily planners have become a thing of the past for me, it did not escape me that it is suddenly November. Wow. The time has flown, and at the same time it feels like I’ve been here for a year. For good reasons, though. My cast feels like family (aw!) and I’ve adjusted fairly well to life at sea.

My favorite things about the boat:
1. Sleeping. Not only the time I have to sleep, but when the water is calm, to quote my friend Sarah, it’s like a giant mother rocking me to sleep.
2. It’s like dorms all over again! Only with people I like. There’s a cute slumber party quality to knocking on my neighbors’ door and inviting them to watch It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, because we all miss home on the holidays, even Halloween.
3. Going out isn’t really “going out.” If I want to see what’s going on around the boat, it’s never more than a 2 minute walk. No commute.
4. The crew. The room stewards, bartenders, and hosts have gotten to be very friendly faces. Arnold, Bogart and Tito are my heroes!
5. The shows. Oh yeah, we’re here for that, right? There’s no Chicago venue to play a sketch show to a house of 1000. Thanks, Stardust Showroom.

My not favorite things:
1. The internet. Pricey and slow. That’s where ports come in.
2. If there’s bad weather, the aforementioned “giant mother” gets angry and violent. I’ve so far spent one night laying awake imagining the ship capsizing. Not likely, but not pleasant either.
3. Free food is just that. Free. You can get lucky. But there are no guarantees.
4. People on vacation have a scary sense of entitlement. They get rude, to put it very lightly. I am more than happy to stick to my room some days.

So…am I happy to be here? Yes. Is it a strange existence? Yes. Will the honeymoon end within our cast and will we start to grate on each other until James pokes out Shawn’s eyes and Peter rips out Katy’s earrings and I punch Tabetha in the neck? Hm. Only time will tell…

The reposition begins on Saturday. We sail away from NYC for good and venture into the Caribbean. In honor of the two week trip, including 6 days at sea, I will post a “Spotlight on” each of my cast mates. Oh boy!

Leaving the Winter Behind

2007-10-30T08:50:00.000-07:00

Well, almost. This is our last week in New England. Today is my last day at the Wired Monk to enjoy coffee and good internet service. Lots to catch up on.

Last Thursday I had a delightful time with Andrew in Boston. We met up near his school, had coffee and caught up on his newly serious academic life. It's great to see him doing something he cares about and something that means so much to the world. Meanwhile I'm making vibrator jokes to amuse a lounge full of people checking their watches so as not to miss the chocolate buffet. But who's counting? Bits aside, G-d bless Andrew. It was great to see him.

Friday: Peter and I nearly died in the tender boat on the way back to the ship. Ok, that's dramatic. It was rough weather, and we had to wait to get close enough to the ship, so we floated around rather violently for nearly an hour. Yikes. It was determined that if we had been the victims of a disaster and there was a movie made about our tender, Peter and I would want to be portrayed by Ben Affleck and Salma Hayek. Our fear was that it would turn out to be Kevin James and Janeane Garoffalo. Bottom line: Martha's Vineyard is lovely, but not worth the terror.

Saturday: NYC! We signed off and spent the night in New York. Everything was awesome. Katy and I got to the discount Broadway ticket window early and I scored a pair of tickets to Cyrano de Bergerac starring Kevin Kline and Jennifer Garner for a ridiculously low price. Tabetha joined me. The show was really good. Kevin Kline was made for this role. Jen was a respectable Roxanne. I couldn't have been happier with my Broadway experience. We checked into our "economically sound" hotel room and then went to Soho to see my friend Paolo's art in the Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art. Let's be honest, it was nerd central. But it was great to see Paolo, who has been a friend since high school. He's a hugely talented and successful artist for Marvel Comics, which I am proud of...it's a commodity to have a friend like that in the improv world. I've made many a geek-out occur among my friends. Thanks, Paolo! After that, we walked around the Village, observing the Halloween revelry. Headed to UCB to see what show we could catch and oddly enough ran into a Toronto friend of Tabetha's who was able to rescue us from the stand-by line. Hooray! We saw a team called Ruben Williams, and they were pretty hilarious. After the show, Tab's friend Mike gave us a walking (and eating) tour of the Village, where he's lived for the past year. For the record, Cones is the best ice cream in the city. The weekend finished with a beautiful morning in Central Park, great bagels, and brunch at Bobby Flay's Mesa. OMG. Yes, I actually just typed and irony-free OMG. Bobby Flay, you sir, are a genius.

Yesterday: at sea day. Improv rehearsal, Ugly Betty (finally finished the season 1 DVDs), and the crew Halloween party. Lamely, no costume, but we had a good time.

Here's to New England. It will be missed.

Boston 13, Rockies 1?

2007-10-25T10:38:00.000-07:00

I don't get to see the World Series on the ship, but boy did I see the score. Ouch. Come on, Rockies! Prove you can do it on your first try! My Denver roots are really pulling at my heart right now.

And ironically....I'm in Boston today. It's a great city, I can't be too upset. We walked into Quincy Market from the port this morning, and I walked into fire alarms going off (a theme for this week) but no one reacting one bit. Clearly a false alarm....or so I hoped. Seems to be, since they were eventually shut off. Weird.

Yesterday was good, despite my having slept about two hours the night before. The ship hit some weather and the rocking was violent. I finally fell asleep as we approached Bar Harbor, only to be awoken by the announcements to go through immigration. I sleepily entered Bar Harbor and was charmed by the little town. I got some great pictures which I haven't gotten the chance to transfer to the old computer yet, but I will soon. Rest assured, dear reader.

Last night's scripted shows went quite well. We got a huge response from added bits regarding the false fire alarm from earlier in the week. Yes! Shared experience bits = failsafe humor.

I get to see my friend Andrew today! He goes to school in Boston, so we're meeting up before I head back to the ship. It's nice to see friendly faces along this journey.

I hope all my friendly faces back in Chicago (and elsewhere) are well!

Looneytown

2007-10-23T07:22:00.000-07:00

Halifax day yet again, and I am in arguably my favorite place in Canada. I admittedly have seen very little Canada in my day. Nonetheless, the Wired Monk has provided me hours of internet and lots of coffee. Bless them.

Today began pretty strangely. I didn't sleep very well due to a too-firm pillow and some weird dreams, then I was awoken at 5:45 by the voice of the cruise director telling us to disregard the alarm sounds, there had been a small fire in the buffet that had been contained. WHAT? They make a very big deal about fire on the ship (no open flames allowed ever), so it was a strange thing to hear in the morning. I got up with my phone alarm, which had changed to local Canada time, so I unwittingly got up an hour ealier than I planned, but I worked out and went to breakfast anyway. See, the thing about this ship business....I sleep a lot. I am easily making up for 4 years of not sleeping. My body is thanking me for it.

Our show changed nights this run for reasons unknown, so we have a free night tonight. The cast has planned to have dinner and then meet to talk about a special video project. It's great to feel creative when you have so much downtime. It's really hard to get motivated when you have so much time on your hands. I'm lucky to be working with such a funny and creative cast. Whenever we discuss ideas, it's like a bunch of puzzle pieces that just fall into place. Awesome.

Tomorrow I'll see Bar Harbor, Maine for the first time (I'm sorry I missed you last time, Rance). Countdown to reposition cruise: 11 days.

Another Week

2007-10-21T09:12:00.001-07:00

And we're back in NYC. The free interenet connections are few and far between, but I'm trying to get caught up from the beautiful Bryant Park near the library on 42nd and 5th.

Our week was great. Both shows went over really well, and for a couple of days there, we were celebrities. Then a whole new group comes aboard and our work is cut out for us again. But I have a lot of fun with the cast. Can't complain.

I was lazy and stayed onboard on Martha's Vineyard day. So here's a shot from the deck. I will definitely go ashore next Friday.

A shot of my winter home, the NCL Spirit.

Last night I endured the strangest of the ship life components: the booze cruise. They take the ship out into international waters overnight for duty free shopping and gambling and then bring it back the next morning. This clearly generates a ton of revenue for the ship. The bars and casino are packed the whole night. The downside is that it's a good night for people like me to stay in the cabin and watch movies (Live Free or Die Hard is AWESOME) and generally avoid the craziness. This morning's breakfast was hard enough to deal with between the people loudly announcing their hangovers and the ones becoming violent over the whereabouts of skim milk on the buffet. So yeah, I won't miss this part when we reposition to the south.

But I will miss NYC. Badly. Who won't miss NYC? My blood sugar.

Snack courtesy of Magnolia Bakery. Best. Cupcakes. Ever.

Shipping back out....

Oh Canada

2007-10-17T09:54:00.000-07:00

This week we get a bonus day in Canada. I'm sad I can't use my phone. But I did get lost in St. John, New Brunswick. I walked around the "real" part of town before I found the tourist area. Lucky me. I did get one lovely picture from a hilltop that I will post another time, as blogger is having issues.

Show update: we had our second night of the revue last night. It went pretty well, but definitely felt like the second week of a show. A little creeky, but comfortable. Afterwards we went to Maharini's to celebrate Peter's birthday. Happy Birthday, Peter!!!

Slept till 11 today. Finally.

More NY

2007-10-16T06:53:00.000-07:00

While I'm in Halifax with a reliable internet connection...more pics!

Beautiful Central Park.

Beautiful (in a digital way) Times Square

New Yorkers are nothing if not honest.

The beautiful cast of the Spirit! Shawn, Tabetha, James, Peter, Katy, me and of course our illustrious director TJ and producer Kelly.

At Sea

2007-10-16T06:35:00.001-07:00

Naaaa....na...na..nananana....

Hey Jude.
St. Pat's. Wow.Kimmers!!! Nice room, lady. And thanks for lunch!

Monday is our sea day for this itinerary. With no intention to get out and see a new town, the day could be quite lazy. Or it could be a good working day. Today we have an improv rehearsal to try out new games for our Thursday sets. An improv jam at sea? Come on!

The New York weekend was awesome. I’m pretty much in love with the city. Saturday was sight seeing day with the cast. We visited Rockefeller Center, Times Square, and spent hours walking in Central Park. The day ended with what may be the best pizza I’ve ever had at a place called Ray’s. Oh Chicago, I’ve cheated on you. I love your stuffed pizza, but NY tempts me with its thin, flexible crust. James, while eating two slices and two meatball rolls: “This meatball roll is made out of sex it’s so good.”

Sunday was another beautiful day. I started out at St. Patrick’s for the 9 am mass. It’s a gorgeous cathedral, but it’s geared toward tourism, so they crank out masses every 45 minutes and kindly ask people to move along once they’ve gotten their pictures of the Blessed Sacrament. Either way, I’ve found a church for the next few Sundays.

I got to meet up with Kim later on Sunday and she took me to a great diner in the East Village where she lives. She also treated me to Pink Berry, all the rage in yogurt treats! The big news: I successfully navigated the subway. Sure they’re more complicated than El trains, but they are pretty convenient.

In the end, the Chicago-New York showdown is a tie. The pizzas are basically two different foods. Not comparable. Both amazing. And while the El trains are more self explanatory, the subway was shockingly clean. When I have a million dollars, I’ll own homes in both cities.

Boston

2007-10-11T11:00:00.001-07:00

Boston highlights!

Quincy Market. Pretty crowded for a Thursday...I think. I'm not from Boston.
The obligatory Cheers picture

The Old Meeting House. Show Report!! Both were great. First house was full, second was around half, but still great. This is my fabulous cast: Tabetha, James, Shawn, Katy and Peter. I couldn't be cruising with better people.

First "scriptless" show is tonight. Fun!

The boat so far has been a good time. It's a weird life, but so far I've kept structure. I can't sleep late yet and I've been countering the eating with a lot of working out. Right now I'm outside McCormick and Schmick's where Kelly just took us to lunch, full of crabcake and grilled banana split. I've got to shift out of vacation mode before I don't fit in my show pants anymore.

Bar Harbor and Showtime!

2007-10-11T10:56:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: boat internet is not cool. My blogs may be posted all at once when I find cafes. So here is one that should have gone up yesterday....

Here is my lovely roommate, Tabetha, in our lovely room. Spoiler alert, that window isn’t real!

And here is the little piece of home I’ve brought into the room… Snacks from the buffet tend to translate to “cookie time.” No good.

Our show opens tonight, which is awesome. We had a pretty good run through yesterday and good tops and bottoms this morning, so I feel pretty ready. Bar Harbor, Maine is the port today. Since tendering is necessary (taking a small boat into the port) I may just wait till next week to take in the Bar Harbor sights. Either way, it’s nice to be stateside again so my phone works. Woo!

Next time: show report.

Halifax!!

2007-10-09T08:43:00.000-07:00

Hey friends! Today I'm ashore for the first time since NYC. Halifax Canada is the port, and I am in a super hip coffee house. I am sans camera today, but hopefully the benevolent internet will allow me to post some photos from the beginning of my journey. Let's see....

Here's me, on one hour of sleep, very apprehensive about being in a metal flying contraption. Yikes! Thankfully, the flight was beautiful.
Speaking of beautiful!! Look at this lady! This was my first time seeing NYC, and this was part of the view pulling away from port. Wow.
Leaving NYC. Don't adjust your screens, my hair is that huge.
Behind that SUV is a real live NYC hotdog stand! I'm a nerd.
Here's where I live now. Bye, New York, Hello Buccaneers water adventure!

That's the story for now. My cast is the best, the show opens tomorrow night. I'm all full of butterscotch latte and pumpkin scone (workout, here I come), so it's time to explore more of Halifax before rehearsal call.

I miss you, friends.

Boattown, USA

2007-10-08T06:23:00.000-07:00

I'm here! The flight yesterday into NYC was flawless, which was good news for this Neurotic Nancy! I'm apprehensive about the whole 33,000 feet above earth thing.

I've taken some great pictures, and guess what, the boat internet is refusing to let me upload them. Rrrrrr. I may have to try again when we're in port tomorrow or Wed. Nova Scotia here we come!

In lieu of photos, I'll tell you that I saw NYC for the first time. Hot dogs stands, cabs, Madison Ave, someone actually walked in front of our van and shouted "Hey, I'm walking here!" moments after we did bits about it happening. Our sail off yesterday was amazing. We saw the Brooklyn Bridge, Empire State Building and ol' Lady Liberty herself. (imagine my awesome pictures) It made me giddy about actually going into the city when we're back in port next week.

For today...rehearsal. The show open Wednesday night. We're all very excited for it, and it couldn't be coming together better.

In boat news, I slept really well with the rocking. I'm happily not only NOT seasick, but I enjoy the movement. Note to self, don't get drunk while at sea. The motion would not be helfpul at that point.

All in all, things are good. I miss Chicago tons. But this water thing....not bad.

Hello Goodbye

2007-10-03T19:16:00.000-07:00

First rehearsal today. Well, workshop. I met the boys for the first time (Tabetha will be in tomorrow). Shawn, Peter and James are all delightful and wonderfully funny and easy to play with. POB went through some exercises and games with us. It was a really fun time and hugely reassuring that this trip will be great.

Before rehearsal I got to have a really nice talk with my good friend, Devin. We hadn't caught up in a while and it couldn't have been better to share coffee and wax poetic with him.

The perfect end to my day...went shopping (and got surprised!) with two lovely ladies. Thanks, Meredith and Megan. You are the coolest. Only you two can make back to back trips to Victoria's Secret and Claire's seem appropriate.

Another perfect end to my day...

Erin and I celebrated an alternate Halloween by surprise tonight. All the candy in one night? Yes, please!

What a good day.

Parties and Brunches and Visitors!

2007-10-01T10:18:00.000-07:00

This weekend was a whirlwind of goings away. It's weird to have a "going away" a week before I actually leave. There was a lot of, "Goodbye, I'll miss you! Maybe I'll see you on Tuesday."

Being the blogging amateur that I am, I took no pictures at my party on Friday. I didn't want to carry my camera. This excuse will not fly when it comes to Mayan ruins, though, be assured.

But I did capture two gems on my cell phone at LC brunch Sunday.

Meredith loves to pour water for friends! And Megan couldn't be happier about it! I'm going to miss these ladies. A ton.

Timmy shows us the real perk of having an iPhone. This nearly made crunchy french toast come out my nose.

An additional treat this weekend was having Stacey and Bob in town for a wedding. They stayed at our place and it was awesome to have them here before I go. They're doing great in Portland, which was really nice to hear. They certainly deserve it.

Thank you, thank you, thank you to my friends who came out Friday night, Sunday morning and via phone and email. You guys all make it easier to embrace this opportunity, but much harder for me to leave. Thank you for both of those things.

Surprise!

2007-09-28T11:32:00.000-07:00

Oh boy...I got a cookie for lunch! I was completely surprised, even though (I learned later) they carried this right past my desk. Nice work, supersleuths. THANK YOU!!!

More pictures of my office friends....

Elisabeth, my current office neighbor. Please tell me if my music is too loud!

Rho's from the West side. She's tough.

You are not the boss of me, Kat. Hm? Oh. Ok.

That cookie is great. Good thing I'm spinning tonight.

Elisabeth (mid-cookie): "This is going straight to my veins."

Final Friday

2007-09-28T07:31:00.000-07:00

Today is my last official day at work (for 2007...I'll find my way back). I'll be in briefly on Monday to train the new guy. Speaking of the new guy, I have a picture of him....

We've worked together before.

I'm sure I'll have other updates later in the day, but for now, here are some pictures of what I'll miss at work...

Breakfast. Two hardboiled eggs and homemade coffee (Erin insists that we buy Intellegentsia only...insists!). My coworkers love me for having hardboiled eggs in the reception area every day.

Ladies and gentlemen, Greg! He plays baseball in Japan. And he's "Flirty!"

Micou, are you working again? This guy is ALL business.

Speaking of all business, take that coffee back to your desk, Sarah! It's masking the enticing scent of my eggs!

Rho: "Don't take any pictures of me. I mean without me knowing about it."

More to come....

Learning

2007-09-26T18:38:00.000-07:00

Only my second post and I'm already messing up. I had lunch with Sarah and coffee with Meredith and took not one picture. Boo.

I guess I'll have to settle for posting a picture of the one I'll miss most of all...

...our new Nintendo Wii.

Post 1 of __

2007-09-25T13:59:00.001-07:00

Like most things in my life, this blog begins with food.

I'm leaving Chicago in 12 days to board the NCL Spirit cruiseship as a Second City performer. Translated to improv: I'm going on a boat. Every improvisor in Chicago knows what that phrase means. But few people know what it's really like, so people tend to start these clever photo blogs to document their trip...and here I am.

The picture above represents one of the best parts of my office day. This black bean dip is incredible. It's something I'll miss dearly while I'm at sea. Maybe I'll steal away to a Whole Foods while in port each week and smuggle snacks back onboard so I'll have some alternative to the cavalcade of cruise food. I'll keep a lock box filled with Larabars and tuna packets.

Now, to say this dip is the best part of my day is not to say my job is bad. It's the opposite. I've been blessed to work with awesome people in what may be the best "temp" job ever for the past 8 months. Leaving them to live aboard a cruiseship is harder than it sounds. I wake up each weekday morning annoyed at the early hour, but otherwise pleased to be going where I go, and that cannot be said by every day-job-holding actor. Thanks, SAMA.

12 days. Blog officially begun. I couldn't wait any longer.